Be on top of it

This week has been a bit slower pace. I have some pictures to share of some activities that we did, but I think I will share them in my blog next Friday in a way that will sum up this week and next week.
I feel like I need to share what has been on my heart more then what my activities have been this week.

I find that every so often I have a "Learning week" where for some reason everything seems to be more difficult. Such as, cleaning, making decisions, smiling, being a mom, being a wife not snapping at my children or husband and becoming the Hulk.. I have no clue why this happens. (and this does not involve PMS-ing) I think it's just part of being human. I think it's a reminder that we need to depend on God all the time. When things get hard and when things are easier, we are constantly growing in our relationship with God. ( I guess I did have a clue after all :P ...)

I am not writing these things in order to receive pity from anyone. I am ok. I am learning, and I have more then I could ever need. I just need to practise patience and contentment. That's it.


In our small bible study group, we read the book called "Experiencing the Resurrection by Henry and Melvin Blackaby". It was very hard to read and understand. I like to learn things that are clear, concise, to the point and applicable to our lives. Like stories of peoples lives or point form answers or questions that we can ask our self that relate to our day to day lives.  This book was quite challenging to me. But now that I think of it, this book resembles very much how my feeling have been lately. Confused, hard to read, frustrating, but all in all there is a good message in it. 

I feel sort of bad because I think I was one of the only persons who most often spoke

of how I truly felt about the book. Oh well, it takes all kinds of people to make a world. If the church is the body, then I think I am the big toe. Nail. hahaha I'm kidding...

Being 15 hours away from my family is probably one of the hardest things I will ever have to deal with in my life. Unless Jonny boy got an awesome job in Quebec right off the bat, where we could still home school and live a self sustaining lifestyle with a home with plenty of land that woundn't cost a fortune. In order for us to move back, it would mean that we have to start all over again. And Jonny would most likely have to go back to school or something of that sort. We would miss all of our friends and Nova-Scotias hospitable culture and so on. And that is not easy. Only God know if it will ever happen.

That being said. This week has been pretty hard because I don't have good coping skills. When I am sad or overwhelmed feel stuck or very homesick, I don't really know what to do with myself.  And sleeping seems to be an easy solution. And everything can spiral downward from there. Yes, I pray all the time that God would help me but sometimes we need to do some extra work to get where we want to go. 
If mommy is sad or mad this equals = frustrated, helpless husband and unhappy confused, hyperactive children.

I did a bit or research in order to try to get out of this rut. To learn coping skills. Because sometimes there is absolutely nothing we can do. We can't always get what we want. And I don't want to miss out on my life now as it it and only dwell on the future and my needs.

And sometimes we have to bite our Tung and sacrifice what we want for our families for the duration of our entire lives. And that's the way the cookie crumbles. Our lives as mothers is our biggest ministry.
I totally understand that sometime we may need more professional, medical help because of a chemical imbalances and so on. I might need that one day. Maybe even now, but I want to try and do what I can before I need to resort to that. And that is ok. It will not mean that my faith is not strong enough. It just means I need to have deeper help and to use the resources that God gives us through preffecional help.

First of all It is good to identify what exactly is wrong.

Right now I feel like we are treading water. We want to move into a larger home, but have to wait for everything to fall into place first. We need to sell our house or maybe even rent it. We need to be approved to buy an other house, I would like to have money and go out and do fun things more often. I don't feel like being creative and finding free things to do all the time because it takes more work.. yada, yada, yada...
When things go too slowly for me, I tend to get all emotional and  try and find things that comfort me. For example:
My family in Quebec makes me happy= I miss my family= I want to move back= That's all I can think about=I'm miserable= My children and husband become miserable. 
Or, I like how new clothes make me feel=I want to go buy the entire mall= That's all I can think about= my focus is off because I'm being selfish= atomic bomb. 
Or, I like how food makes me feel= I go eat 12 cookies= I feel like crap=I regret eating those cookies= I feel fat and unhealthy=I need to work out= I go to sleep= My babies don't let me sleep=I froth from the mouth.

Second of all, I am not a person who needs or wants a lot of alone time. I love being

with my family or around people in general. But I think sometimes I HAVE to have force myself to have alone time. When else would I be alone with my thought and with God?
To me, Jonny boy is my comfort zone. I feel protected when I am with him. And he is one of the only persons who truly sees me when I am all discombobulated. I can be all together until he gets home and I fall apart and cry and what not. It is a good thing that I can be myself with my husband, but it can also be not so good because then I depend on him to encourage me and give me answers. And maybe even hope that he can tell me what to do. Then I'm not fully Letting God in and do the work. Plus sometimes I'm sure Jonny could use a break from all my emotions and have his fun bubbly wife back.

God gives us nature for a reason. Go outside by yourself. Somewhere safe. Somewhere quiet. And pray and think and regain your sanity. Take the time you need to regain control of your emotions and go back inside and take care of your responsibilities like a warrior.

What if you are alone with your children and have no one to take care of them in order to be alone. There are lists of things you can do to relax.
-Paint
-Read
-listen to  music
-dance
-sing
-work out
-go shovel snow
-garden
-de-clutter your house
-hide in the bathroom
-hide in the closet
Maybe just wait until your kids are sleeping, because that alone time is what you need to be still and listen to God...

"Be still and know that I am God".- Psalm 46:10a

Third of all, If your thoughts dwell on anger or negative, selfish feelings, let it go and fight to replace the anger with gratitude and that you're ok! 
I try to notice how tense my neck , jaw, shoulders and eyebrows are and release the tension. BREATH.  Take the focus off everything that stresses you out and focus on how to breath properly and relax your body. Keep breathing until you calm down.

Trial and error is the best way to figure out what works best for you. Also, note that what works for you today might not work tomorrow. Don't be discouraged.

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:19
(Am I the only one who just noticed that this is a command, wow?!)

Fourth of all, if all you think about is negative thoughts then try filling your mind with positive things and what is more positive then memorising bible verses? REALLY actually taking the time to memorise them and when the manure hits the fan then you can repeat the verses over and over in your head until you calm down. One I really like is from Philippians 4:12;
" For I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation. whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want."
(in good days and bad days) 
(note to self: learn this verse by heart)


Everything that I have written down in my blog today is all stuff that I need to work on myself. Being a mom and wife is a HUGE responsibility. And self control is one of the most important thing we need to master. And ONLY our Master can help us with it.
I think that is about all I have to say about that. There is one thing I will share about that happened this week. We had our last bible study for the year, and we decided to have a pot luck! Everyone brought such amazing food and of course I forgot to take a picture because I was too busy refiling my plate and running after Li'l Gal and feeding Li'l Guy. It's a good thing Jonny boy was there helping me! And I wanted to share some recipes that Jonny boy and I made because I am a foodie and I like to share my recipes hehe.

This one is my yearly Christmas tradition:
Bacon wrapped water chestnuts

Ingrediants:
2 cans of whole chestnuts
2 packs of bacon (maple bacon is good too!)
1 cup of sugar (as needed)
1 cup soy sauce (maybe a bit more)
tooth picks

Directions:
-Cut all chestnuts in half and put them in a container to soak in with the soy sauce for more or less 30 minutes. (cover with soy sauce)
-Cut both packs of bacon in half
-place sugar on a plate
-roll each chestnut in sugar then wrap with a half slice of bacon and poke with tooth pick to secure the bacon in place.

Oven at 350 degrees for about 30 minutes. until bacon looks cooked but not burnt!!
This is such a winner finger food at parties (if it even makes it to the party!)

Second recipe we made was:
Big mac skewers. (this is how Jonny and I made them)

Meat balls:
-2 lb ground beef ( I had deer meat :P) 2 lb makes A LOT for a bit crowd!
-1 cup Parmesan cheese
-1 or 2 garlic cloves
-a big pinch of parsley, oregano, basil
-1/2 tsp salt
-1/2 tsp pepper
-1 egg
-1 tsp paprika
Miz it all up make small balls about 1 inch diameter cook 350 for 30 minutes (until 145 degrees)
(Let them cool  down 100% so it wont melt your cheese)

Skewer:
the order in which to add the layers on the  toothpick:
1st, meatball
2nd, 1 slice 1 inch long of cheese
3rd, 1 square inch of lettuce
4th, 1 square inch of bacon
5th, 1 half Cheri tomato
(this fits all very tight on the tooth pick. I have shishkabob sticks, but they kept breaking my cheese.)

Dipping Sauce:
Thousand island Dip:
-1 garlic cloves minced
-1 cup plain Greek yogurt
-1 TBLS olive oil
-2 TBLS ketchup
-2 TBLS chopped dill pickle
-1 TSP apple cider vinegar
-1/2 TSP salt
-1/2 TSP onion powder (I used garlic powder)
-1/4 teaspoon pepper
-1/2 TSP Tabasco sauce ( I used Frank's red hot sauce)

I hope you were incouraged by these ideas. By all means, if you have other coping ideas, please share. 
I should probably go now because Li'l Gal is in our mud room with a blancket on our dog Brutus with a laundry basket over his body throwing bits of dog food at him. He seems to injoy it, but still, someone has to be the responsible one around here! (Jonny is working, he is usually the responsible one)...
BYE!